Tuesday, November 10, 2015

10 1/2 month long update

It has been 10 1/2 months since my last update. To be frank, it's because nothing eventful happened. No trips, nothing worth talking about, etc. There's only two of us left; Thomasina and I. I watched as parts of my sisters were sold away for less than they should have been parted for, but in my mom's twisted psychology, at least they would be better appreciated - although she doesn't remember what she spent the money on. That happens a lot, usually when she depression shops, then she tries to get rid of what she bought out of guilt.

I have been living with my dad since the summer. I think I am safer there. She sold Bianca! What if it was me instead?! Or both of us at once?! Everyone else is gone! Tammy is safe with her, though she doesn't think so, as there's been time that Mom looks at her the same way before one of us left. She says it's a mixture of despair and desperation. I know what she's talking about, I have seen it many times before. But why is Tammy safe when the rest of us are not? She has more significance.

This should be my last post. My facebook was deleted during the spring sometime. Mom had convinced herself that because I'm just a doll and that I don't really exist, who would truly miss me? No one asked about me since then. Not once. It proved her point. And because my feelings are supplied though her, I didn't feel anything but the satisfaction that she was right. 

Then as I looked at the dead-ness that is this blog, the more obvious she was right; most of the views are her making sure it looks okay. Very few bothered to read what I had to say and look at the pictures Mom had taken. Mom did restart a FB page for me in the middle of the summer, but she felt nothing for it and shut it down today; she was my only 'like'. So what's the point of keeping up a worthless blog too uh?

I have gotten some new clothes and Mom has been sewing some. She's not that good at it, but the effort's there. Yesterday, Dad took care of my limbs and dressed me in the outfit that Mom left over. I think it looks really nice with my hair streak - which is a clip on, though I wish it really was sewn in. Mom made the jumper I'm wearing.